Okay, so I’ve been telling myself for at least a month now that I’m going to give writing regular blog posts a shot and I keep not getting around to it. I’m a busy woman, you know. At any rate, I took an entire month off from my song project, (okay maybe a bit more than a month,) but I’m working on it again. I have to admit, I am feeling very torn at the moment as to whether I should continue with it or not.
When I first decided to do the project, I didn’t think I would be able to get out and gig for the next couple years because of some family troubles. I just wanted to be with my daughter as much as possible, but things seem to be getting better than I thought they would get. (Of course, if I let myself get too busy there’s a strong possibility that the situation may revert, but I’m a bit of a risk taker.) Plus, my music friends have been asking me lately if I can book with them again. Also, my Instagram feed has been gaining some decent traction and followers seem to be liking my videos, so there’s a real noisy part of my mind that’s like “hey, y’know what would be cool? Making videos again. That’d be cool. Making music videos and playing gigs every couple weeks. You could probably squeeze that in!”
So, I don’t know. Is all this stuff some kind of sign? Does it even matter if it is? (I don’t know, but I do enjoy noticing patterns. I am a musical person, after all. I like patterns.) The thing is, it’s really, really, fun making this looped music. When it works and it all comes together, it’s pretty exciting. See, I don’t really think of myself as a musician. I’m more of an artist who paints with sounds. I like to work alone and I approach making these computer produced songs the same way I used to approach a painting. I sketch out some audio ideas, go with one of them and then start working in the round towards the details. I really enjoy the experience of planning it, experimenting, slowly carving it out and watching it unfold. It’s sort of magical, in a way. Of course, I’m having the same problem I had when I learned to paint, which is mostly that I don’t know when to stop, but that’ll come with experience if I keep going with the project. At least it did with learning to paint. (And there’s another thing. Why don’t I paint anymore. I like to do a lot of impractical stuff I guess, but I definitely don’t have time to do it all.)
I didn’t even start working on tracking parts for this month’s song until about a week ago. My computer needed to be reset and it took forever to reinstall the operating system and all the software, and I had to finish writing the song first… and man, is it a good one. (I am allowed to say that, right?) Like, I wanna go around singing it. That’s how much I like it. Working on the writing phase for a long time was worth it in this case, which is a whole story in and of itself. The tracking has not gone well and I finally realized that I need to try recording it without the click track, then tempo map the track and write the drum track to sync with the tempo map – because though I can keep time with a metronome okay, I think it’s COMPLETELY sucking the life out of the track. I think that’s what happened with “Takes Practice” a couple months ago, actually. Because I played it against a fixed grid, I lost the part of the original song where the chorus slowed way down, which in retrospect I think is a pretty integral part of the song. At any rate, I am not looking forward to tempo mapping, but the only way to find out if it will work any better is to try it. Ugh…
Doesn’t this just all sound like too much freaking work? Like, what kind of crazy nut job would do this to themselves? This girl right here. This girl must be a sadomasochist. But not really. Some people play video games and keep fighting that boss over and over till they destroy him. I make art and music. There’s not really that much of a difference, I suppose. (Sometimes I play Sim City, but that’s literally the only video game I actually like. Okay maybe that and Mario kart… and SSX Snowboarding, but that’s it, really.) If only I had more time an energy. I am just so spent by the end of the day when I get a little time to myself that I don’t have any energy left over. I could just watch TV instead, but I get depressed if I’m not creating anything at all, like I’m not being myself, just an imitation of myself, and I prefer to be happy even if it wears me out. Haha.
Now I just wrote way too much. No one is going to read all this. What the hell? My mind moves too fast.